"The role of mother. The process of entering into and becoming, mother. Who ever knew there was so much to know, to understand, to adjust to? The pictures look beautiful. You know, the ones where mother and baby stare lovingly, quietly, with complete serenity at one another?
Pregnancy; you"re preparing the room, buying ALL the stuff, reading all the things about child development. Have you stopped to think about you yet? I can tell you, as pregnant women we usually don"t. Our minds race with all the things we need to know about baby, not about how we will adjust, heal, and develop in our postpartum life. Not a lot of time is spent thinking about how to love and work with our partner when the baby comes. We also don"t spend time thinking about the grief and loss of sense of self. It"s so much more fun to think about the beauty of life, and the excitement of the baby.
Pregnancy is a great time to focus on self, to begin building a supportive community, and increase skills that can help you identify and prevent postpartum depression and anxiety when baby comes. Knowledge is an amazing weapon against the complicated set of circumstances generated in the fourth trimester (the three months following birth of baby). Seeking out support during pregnancy is like seeking out pre-marital counseling before marriage. It can provide a foundation for success as you move through one of the most challenging transitions in your life. Let me help you in this rite of passage into motherhood.
And if you"ve already had your baby, and you are sitting here reading this thinking "why the hell am I so empty?'", I"m here for you, too. In fact, I"ve been there. And I didn"t know why it was so hard, either. And all I wanted was to feel like myself again. A feeling of control, contentment, or just not to cry uncontrollably several times a day. Maybe you are having scary thoughts of the horrible things that might happen to your baby? Terrible, intrusive thoughts that make you feel crazy and fearful that others could never understandand maybe worse, that people will think you are an unfit mother. Or, maybe you are just feeling horrible regret. Like you made a mistake. Like you weren"t made to be a mother, either because you aren"t good at it, or because you just plain hate it. I see you, you are not alone, and I"m here to listen. We can walk, we can share, and you can begin to regain your sense of confidence and self. I"m here for you. Because this stuff is hard, so much harder than so many want to share."