""If the public knew how little sexuality training most therapists receive, they"d be stunned," said Dr. Marty Klein, a sex therapist, marriage counselor, psychotherapist, and author. "You can get licensed as a marriage counselor or psychologist without hearing the words "clitoris," "vibrator," or "amateur porn." So "How do I find a sex-positive therapist?" is a very important question."Klein advises you start by contacting the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT.org). "NON-ADDICT should look for a member in his area," says Klein. "But the group is small, and not all of them will share his sexual values. Here"s what he should ask a potential therapist: "What are your sexual values?" "How do you define healthy sexuality?" "Are you comfortable talking about kinky sex?" "Do you think monogamous, heterosexual, genitally oriented sex is ultimately better than other consensual arrangements?"" The kind of sex-positive therapist you seek will answer straightforward questions like that over the phone before you make an appointment for a session. "And regardless of the answers, if you sense a professional is queasy talking about sex, move on to another candidate."Klein says there are many ways to find a local, progressive, sex-positive therapist. "He should call his local Planned Parenthood or LGBT center, a gynecologist or urologist, or the person who teaches sexuality at his local university, or a local divorce lawyer" and ask for a referral, advises Klein. You could even call a priest. "Most clergy send their sexuality cases to one or two local therapists, some of whom are quite progressive.""
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