"There is a well somewhere with all the knowledge and understanding of why any person at any given time gets" addicted to negative feelings; lucky for you, I"m collecting these into what I like to call "umbrella terms" that give rise to why these addictions happen in the first place, but first, I want to point out something you may not be aware of that is truly the foundation of all these terms.
When we are looking for balance in the body, we are looking at 3 core constructs that need to be addressed, physical, chemical, and emotional. Now, these are not isolated events; they all speak and connect with one another. For example, if there is a history of physical abuse, the body will somatically hold that trauma until it has been taught that it is safe to release it, that physical pain will then connect with emotional pain, and then the emotional pain will disrupt the chemicals in your body, make sense? Using this example, the physical pain will lead to heightened cortisol levels, ongoing highest cortisol levels start to lead to the body becoming addicted to the chemical, and in turn, creating a more negative mindset, thought process, or emotions, and this doesn"t have to happen in this order for the outcome to affect all three, physical, chemical and emotional. It could start with emotional, proceed to chemical, and then manifest in the physical. There is no one way that trauma cultivates; it"s a cocktail of experiences, perceptions, and circumstances.
Doubt/Lack of trust: This behavior is almost always linked to a past experience; for this one, let"s look at two examples. The first example is one where a child is happy and joyous, and their authority figure is miserable and carries negative language patterns; the child then picks up on these patterns and then plays them out in their own life. Being shown that adulthood is a soul-sucking experience that is dull and lacks luster, the child begins to believe the same, becoming riddled with doubt, and away their little joy goes as a dark rainy storm cloud begins to wash over them. The second example is a teenager who has a dream of becoming an entrepreneur. They want to be their own boss and create their own hours. They spend most of their high school years coming up with ideas and products that the market has a need for; unfortunately, they are all a flop. When they become an adult, they struggle with their self-esteem as they continue to "fail" and eventually give up and feel as though they cannot trust themselves or the universe/god /goddess to help them on their path. Okay, so what"s happening in both of these scenarios is doubt that joy and success are achievable, as well as a lack of trust in what is possible. And in case you are new here, failure is a GOOD thing. Failure is how we learn and innovate; it"s how we find what truly works, and if you struggle with negative thoughts because your parents taught you this behavior? Guess what, that"s not your shit. They projected their issues onto you, and it"s not your job to hold onto it.
Protection: This can really piggyback on the previous umbrella term. When we have a subconscious part of us that has experienced a loss of joy, or loss of a friend or partner, both in life and as a separation, this part can begin to protect us from losing anything ever again. So what does this part do? It wants you to experience sadness, ad grief, and dullness. It does not want you to experience pleasure because it believes that the feeling of depression is easier than enjoying something or someone just to lose it/them. So turn, we have a negative langue that develops in order to protect the native from harm; the problem is that life isn"t worth living if we arn""t willing to lose something. All good things come to an end, but that is simply the circle of life. Would you rather have never seen the ocean on a beautiful day just to see the dry sandy desert, or would you be happy to have even just one experience that your memories can expand on? Life is too short for us to be letting our parts protect us in a negative way, bless their hearts; they are trying, but they are only running on trauma programming; they need to learn something new that helps them benefit in a healthy way.
Identity: When someone begins to identify with their trauma, it becomes their story, and they begin to carry it around with them like a bag of potatoes, heavy on their back as they slouch just to gain the muster to keep going. We could compare this to a pop culture reference. Let"s take celebrities, for instance, some celebrate "identify" with being a celebrity; they use it to get into nice restaurants, not to have to audition for movies, and to get out of crimes they have committed. Other celebrities stay out of the spotlight. Yes, they may be musicians, actors, or performers of some kind, but they see that as their jo; in their free time they have hobbies, they don"t use their status to get a leg up in life, they do not identify with being a celebrity. They identify with being a human who just so happens to have a rare job that seems prestigious to the public. See the diffrence? Alright, so going back to trauma, when we heal our wounds, we know where we came from, what we have mended, and choose to move forward to live happier healthier lives. However, when souls continue to perpetuate trauma, play the victim, and identify with being a "badass bitch" or "This is who I am; it"s not my fault people can"t handle me" or "everyone is out to get me, and I can"t trust anyone" kind of person, clearly there"s an addiction to toxic negative feelings. They glorify these negative emotions and opinions by making them look cool or tough. But it"s not; it"s just sad. I see you, struggling to be seen, and I mean truly seen for who you are. I see the pain that you are hiding from the world as you pretend to have it all together and puff up your chest in ritual to show everyone who"s boss. This doesn"t have to be your identity, your identity could be someone is vulnerable, someone who has hobbies and interests that are serving and align with your values. This is a tough one to break, but it is by no means impossible. Finding the right practitioner will allow you to break free from the chains that you have put on yourself.
Self-sabotage: A lack of worthiness. They don"t believe they deserve nice things or nice people because they always mess it up somehow. These folks tend to have an error in their memories or perception of the world in relation to their thoughts and the lens in which they use. Everyone else around them can see so clearly the beauty in nature, a specific event, or even a person, and this one individual creates untrue, unrealistic conclusions that distort their reality and spill over into the joy of others. When this is in extreme dysfunction, some people become an energy vampire, sucking on joy and wanting everyone to sit in their misery with them as they replay their trauma over and over again, paying the victim and looking for validation in their dysfunctional view of the world. Now, this is not generalized self-sabotage; this is specifically in context to language. We all know someone who screams at other cars in traffic even though no one can hear them, or who are challenging to eat out with because they always find something to complain to the staff about, or even someone who finds something off-topic to complain about while in the most joyful setting. This is someone who is addicted to negative thinking.
This May Surprise You, But Positive Thinking Isn"t The Answer."
Search Spirit Health Providers Find Similar Resources
Discussion on postpartum experience during pandemic and ways to cope. ...Parenting In a Pandemic