"Be honest and clear. Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you don"t want to date them anymore. Convey to them how hard it"s been to come to this decision, but it"s honestly what you feel is best. Don"t be all wishy washy and try to hide the fact that you want out. You"re already hurting someone"s feelings. You don"t have to try to spare their feelings at the same time. It"s painful to break up with someone but you"ll get through it and you won"t have to do it again and again if you are just strait forward the first time.
Be nice. It can seem like it"d be easier to be mean to your partner in this situation because it feels better to be mad instead of being sad. You can storm away from each other with a parting message of, "Screw you! I can"t effing stand you and I never want to see you again." Grief feels easier to deal with when we are angry because then we don"t have to get in contact with the sadness, but demonstrating this type of anger is not cool. Have some respect and don"t make it into a fight where you"re just pointing out all the unattractive and unlikable things about them.
Be sensitive. Remember that there was a time that you really cared for this person and you probably still do care about them to some degree. They are hearing this information and it may be a shock to their system, so let them down gracefully and be as compassionate as possible. If they cry let them cry. You don"t have to try to stop the tears by getting back together with them, but you could say some things that acknowledge their pain or maybe even hand them the tissues.
Leave them intact. You don"t always have control over this but it"s a good thing to aim for when breaking up with someone. You want to try to at least leave them with as much self worth as they entered the relationship with. So don"t say things like "you"re a horrible boyfriend because you"re awkward in bed" or "you"re just the worst girlfriend because you laugh like a horse." Those things are going to haunt them and make them feel unlovable, and may create insecurities that weren"t there before the relationship.
Repeat. The first breakup never takes. That"s the truth. If it does, awesome. If it doesn"t, you"re normal. So after you run back to your boyfriend or girlfriend, go ahead and give breaking up another try. Perhaps after her horsey laugh starts pissing you off again, or when his twisted and odd facial expression in bed repeatedly gives you the creeps. As Jerry Seinfeld once put it, "Breaking up with someone is like knocking over a coke machine. You have to rock it back and forth a few times before it goes down.""
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