How Negative Self Talk Affects You: Out of Control

Why this resource is helpful:

"Out of Control" is the type of self-talk that can lead to lots of reactions. A counselor in Tualatin, OR shares how people may respond.
Quoted From:

"When life is confusing, things feel out of control.

Much like the negative self-talk of "not good enough," the message of "out of control" provides sense of being trapped or defeated. And it keeps us from being able to move forward in reaching our goals.

Here are some responses or reactions that people have when they're dealing with that negative self-talk of "out of control."

Negative Self-Talk Reaction #1 Anxiety:

Anxiety increases in times when we feel like we don't have any control. Our "fight or flight" senses start to kick in, which sets off all sorts of biological reactions.

And the biological reactions cause emotional reactions.

Which causes more anxiety.

And things start to feel even more chaotic.

When life feels like it is out of control, we begin to spiral into further negative thinking.

Possible negative outcomes feel like almost certainties. And that leads to anxiety.

This anxiety can manifest as a form of social anxiety and impacts all our relationships, including our marriages.

Negative Self-Talk Reaction #2 Anger:

One of the reactions to "fight or flight" is anger. And when we start to feel like we have no choices or control over the circumstances of our life, frustration begins to increase. For many people, the negative self-talk of "out of control" leads to anger.

This type of anger or frustration is an overflow from a sense of "Well, what do I do?!?!"

This person may become blaming of other people or circumstances around them. They give too much credit to others. And they struggle to recognize the influence or control they do have over their life."

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