The Importance Of Understanding Your Attachment Style

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"Infants are born into this world hardwired for attachment it"s what keeps us going as a species. In an ideal scenario, caregivers "fall in love" with their infant and the infant responds accordingly. They feel valued, cared for and are generally trusting.Feeling securely attached allows children to take risks and explore the world with curiosity, rather than holding back out of fearfulness or anxiety. Secure infants tend to develop into secure adults who generally feel self-reliant and self-sufficient, yet also comfortable enough to let other people in and show vulnerability.Extensive research done with infants and mothers together shows our attachment style is in place between the first and second year of life and does not change significantly throughout adulthood. Situations that can cause insecure attachment can occur when caretakers are unable to sense their baby"s needs and end up responding in ways that are frustrating to the infant. Insecure attachment styles can also result when caretakers are depressed or are using substances such as drugs, alcohol or pills, making them unavailable to meet their child"s emotional needs.When caregivers are neglectful or dismissive, their children can become falsely independent as adults ("I don"t need anyone, I can manage on my own because I have to"), a style called Dismissing or Avoidant. The person with this style might struggle to forge intimate connections with people later in life and can appear to be aloof, withdrawn and uninvested in their relationships."

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