"I was talking to some parents about how to "connect" with their "difficult" teenager the other day they asked, "how do I connect with another when I don"t like their behavior and I don"t want to be around her ?" This is the question- and the one that alludes so many OF US.
We love "our people" and yet, when we feel anger, upset, or annoyanceOur natural tendency is to turn away or get into conflicts that often result in more conflicts.. "Why would I want to spend time with my teen, child, partner when their actions are so negative? How do I find my way back to the enjoyment we once shared with each other ???
The only true way to bridge the chasm that exists between you and your loved one is to spend quality time rebuilding your connection with love and curiosity. The time you spendas little as 10 minutes a day, doing something that is about "tuning in" to the other person..will over time-rebuild the foundation of love that has always been there but has been lost.and you will find that the negative interactions that have pushed you away will begin to reduce. Again, let"s be realthis takes time and consistency.things "may get worse before they get better".
The amount of positive interactions must outnumber the negative interactions if anything is to change, it begins with the you taking the first step towards making connections improve. Hang in there.
Relationships take work."
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