"It"s been a while since it happened
and you thought you were over it.
You wonder why it"s still bothering you. After all, you"ve been through worse!
But the thoughts and memories keep popping back into your mind. And every time they do, it"s like it"s happening again.
Your body tenses up, and your breathing gets rapid and shallow. The anxiety and dread are crushing. Sometimes you even get disoriented and lose track of where you are.
It takes so long to calm back down, breathe normally again, and realize that you"re not in danger. And it takes so much energy every single time.
And afterward, you might be left with residual feelings like shame or guilt. Your brain might be telling you that it"s not your fault, but, somehow, your body doesn"t believe it.
Doing this again and again it"s just too much.
Our reactions to trauma are all about keeping us safe.
Your mind and your body are trying to protect you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Unfortunately, the things that they"re doing to keep you safe often come with side effects. And, as you know, they"re not always helpful.
Trauma researchers Peg Duros and Dee Crowley have given us a framework for thinking about what causes trauma:
Toomuch too soon
There"s the best-of-intentioned single mom with three little kids who is working two jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. While her oldest is only eight, she"s primarily responsible for taking care of her little brother and sister when mom"s at work. And while she"s only eight, she wants to help! But she is, in fact, only eight, and she doesn"t have all the knowledge or skills necessary to care for them. It"s too much responsibility way too soon.
Too much for too long
He"s your Dad, but he"s also an alcoholic. You really can"t remember when he started drinking. It"s always been something he did. And when he drinks, he gets angry and terrifying. You can tell by the way he walks in the door what the night will be like. And in the morning, you"ll have to get yourself ready, get to school, and act like everything is normal because, after all, he"s your Dad, and you love him. This was your whole childhood days, months, and years. Maybe even still today. It was, and is, a lot; for a long time.
Too little for too long
Money has always been tight. It"s a real struggle that"s gone on way longer than you thought it would. Always worried about how you can pay the rent, sometimes it feels impossible! It"s a constant strain, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is too little money, and it"s been this way for too long."
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