How to Survive A Narcissistic Person

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Blog Post posted by Tiffany Wicks on Inclusive Therapists.
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"Narcissism is a word that is often thrown around, but do you know what it really means? A narcissistic person is not just someone who is perpetually selfish. Someone who has these true tendencies may assume one of two roles consistently: the hero or the victim.
When you"ve encountered a narcissistic person in your life, you probably feel frustrated and emotionally drained from the encounter. Here are three ways to maintain your composure and endure the time you have to spend with them.

1. Avoid Arguing A narcissistic person usually wants to win. When you argue, you give them fuel to ramp up the conversation back to them highlighting their own accomplishments. This is when the hero complex shows up. Arguing only puts you in a bad mood because you want to call them out for gaslighting you and lying about what they are saying.
However, narcissism stems from deep trauma and is a way of blocking out and coping. That said, a narcissistic person has difficulty holding themselves or be held accountable to the truth. They may avoid it because they would then have to address other truths and face their inadequacies and vulnerabilities. You may never win an argument with a narcissistic person, so why try?

2. Take Your Emotion Out of it. When you tell a narcissistic person how you feel or what they"ve done that hurt you, the victim may rear its head. This is when the person lists all the things they"ve done for you or flat out denies that they"ve ever done anything wrong intentionally.
This person typically tries to paint themselves the victim about some past wrong you"ve done to them. This can be an emotionally exhausting part of the conversation, which comes at your expense.
Instead, use short, simple, cold phrases like "No" or "I don"t like that", or "please stop". You"re setting a boundary without the emotion so the narcissistic person doesn"t go on the defensive and get the best of you trying to gaslight you into what they did not do and what you wrongly perceived."

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