11 Subtle Signs Your Mom Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder

11 Subtle Signs Your Mom Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Some people are lucky to have a healthy, loving relationship with their mom.

But if that's never been the case for you, you might be wondering what happened, what went wrong, or why you just can't get along.

While there are countless causes of unhealthy mother-daughter relationships, one possible explanation could be that your mom has borderline personality disorder ( B D P).

B P D makes it difficult to have stable relationships -- and that can play out in toxic ways between moms and their kids. " It's really, really hard to have a mom with B P D," licensed clinical psychologist Natalie Feinblatt, Psy D, tells Bustle. " Primary caregivers of infants are ideally stable and predictable, which is pretty much the opposite of someone with B P D.

That's because this personality disorder is marked by a rigid pattern of unhealthy and abnormal thinking and behaving, and is focused on chronic instability in mood, behavior, relationships, and self-image, Feinblatt tells me.

That can, for obvious reasons, truly take a toll on how your mom feels, and how she treats you as a result.

Below, some subtle signs she might have B P D, as well as what you can do to help yourself and your mom.

Fear of abandonment is a huge issue for people with B P D, and it can leave them scrambling for attention and reassurance.

It might be tough to tell where you stand with your mom. " She either loves or hates you with a passion," Feinblatt says. " And when she feels one way about you, she will fail to remember or even deny that she ever felt any other way." This constant back and forth can be confusing and stressful for the entire family.

It's normal for parents to get mad or slightly stressed throughout the day.

Since it's easy for people with B P D to feel slighted and attacked, it's not uncommon for them to fight dirty during arguments.